Monday, June 12, 2006

Planting a Prediction

I woke up this morning thinking of Jacques Plante the Hall of Fame goalie who played from 1958 to 1974. I don't often wake up thinking of swarthy older Quebecois males but there was a piece of trivia that surfaced from my snake pit of a brain. Did you know that Jacques Plante was lured out of retirement to play for the Edmonton Oilers WHA team in 1974-75? This was before he died, but not by much. He had a respectable season that year (3.32) but the league was a little wacky. He played 31 games then retired for good no longer taking phone calls from Bobby Hull or Nelson Skalbania.

(Dude, run on sentences - ed.)

I would like to think that Jacques Plante is looking down from heaven and cheering on the Oilers for tonight's chance at winning their 6th Stanley Cup. An eerie otherworldly presence is just what the Oilers need to Ward off evil.

I noticed today that Jim Rome was talking about the seventh game. He rarely talks about Hockey. I also got the impression he was picking Edmonton to win. Once again the American Media is noticing the Edmonton Oilers. This should piss off the Fan960 radio station which hosts the Jim Rome show since they declared themselves the Official Carolina Hurricans Fan outlet.

Anyway, if the Supreme Intelligent Designer (God for the rest of you) would be so kind as to grant this presumptuous request, I hereby undertake the following solemn oaths.

1. I will become a Missionary. I feel I would be very good in this position.

2. I will give up arson, looting and vandalism on Whyte Avenue for a period of six weeks or months. Oh come on - which one of you has not set fire to something after a Hockey Game, I know I have. Do try to be a little less Victorian.

3. I will take Classical Guitar lessons.

4. I will wear an Oiler's Jersey throught the +15 in downtown Calgary. Repeatedly.

5. I will make the onerous journey to Edmonton for the Parade.

6. I will take in several Stampede Breakfasts wearing Oilers Gear, having always avoided them in the past due to health and sanitation considerations.

7. I will endorse Alana Delong in the Progressive Conservative Leadership race.

8. I will apoligize for saying back in January that it was time to clean house in the Oilers organization.

9. I will spend a moment or two to think about Garnet "Ace" Bailey who played for the Oilers in 1978/1979 and who was killed in the 9-11 attacks.

(That's only 9 - we need 10. Remember symmetry - ed.)

10. Ok. I'll refrain from looking at women with lust in my heart, for an appropriate period of time. Lets work out the details later.

Update - The Morning After: Well, that worked out well. Back to watching soccer players rolling around on the ground. Back to hating God. Pffft. Please recommend this post

No comments: