Saturday, May 28, 2005

Letter to the Bishop - Part 2

Dear Bishop Henry,

Although I'm not a Catholic I take a great interest in Catholic social doctrine. I was reading my copy of the Catholic Catechism by Father John Hardon [sic] SJ and he confused me greatly about a particular sensitive issue. I hope you can clarify this part of the catechism for me.

Father Hardon [sic] repeatedly refers to homosexuality and masturbation as sins in the same category of moral seriousness. In fact he often talks about these two sins in the same passage.

He writes:

Catholic moralists have always given due attention to sexual experiences outside of marriage that are called "unnatural," notably masturbation and homosexuality. But their increase in certain affluent cultures has led some people to wonder if, perhaps, they are all that sinful. What can be so wrong about "relieving emotional pressure" or, in the case of homosexuals ,about two men and two women "being in love"?

And further along:

The Church has consistently proscribed homosexuality and masturbation as objectively contrary to the will of God. (ed. - the author provides a footnote: Code of Canon Law, Canon 1248.

By the way, this book has an Imprimatur and Nihil obstat, in case you were wondering, thus it is certified to be free of doctrinal or factual error.

Oh.My.God. We you aware of this? The masturbators are as great a threat to our society as the homosexuals. Surely traditional marriage is harmed by masturbators being granted rights that we know they will inevitably demand.

I for one would like to see you stand up and talk more about this. We need your agressive posturing against the masturbators more than ever. You should organize some rallies on Parliament Hill and a letter writing campaign. This is yet another example of Eastern Big City Liberalism trampling on the values of Albertans. People need to take back their country and the first step is understanding the masturbators are every bit as evil as homosexuals.

I would like to get a few Conservative Catholic Members of Parliament to promote this issue. But not my MP because as we both know he is somewhat compromised on this issue. Have you spoken to him as I suggested? Its a shame too, because we all would love to hear him address Parliament on how masturbation caused the fall of the Roman Empire. We might also get Mr. Klein to say a few words about masturbation and the notwithstanding clause. Remember how desperately he needs your people's votes.

I look forward to you giving equal time to an equal sin. The people need to know about the masturbation agenda and its corrosive effects on our society. Please recommend this post

Friday, May 27, 2005

Friday's Best Bumper Sticker

Friday's Best Bumper sticker, spotted on Shaganappi Trail:

God Bless All the Nations of the World
(No Exceptions)

Nice to see a little contra-jingoism going on out there. Keep up the good work. Please recommend this post

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Ten Or So Songs

I never get tired of listening to or writing about music. Here's a cheesy line: the soundtrack of our lives... Use it on someone and see what they say (or do).

Ten or so songs on the digital jukebox, mostly stuff you'll never hear on commercial radio. Assuming you're not listening to Angry Talk Radio Guy Who Thinks You're Stupid.

1. Colin Linden - When The Carnival Ends

Probably his best song.

police dog at the neighbors door, marching up and down the street
keeping us safe from criminals between the ages of 12 and 16
i don't know about you friend, but tonight i sure can't sleep
throwing gasoline on a fire seems like a strange way to keep the peace

2. Jonatha Brooke - Ten Cent Wings

I never used to like her, but now i do. Acquired taste etc.

I will love across the borders, I will wait until it's dark
I will fly and you'll be with me, my wings, your heart
then our memory may fail us and our language will go too

3. Stan Rogers - Northwest Passage. I wonder how many Canadians have heard this song considering Stan Rogers was and is considered one of Canada's most famous Folk Singers. This was his signature song. I like the way he ties Franklin's expedition to his personal life.

Ah, for just one time I would take the Northwest Passage
To find the hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea;
Tracing one warm line through a land so wild and savage
And make a Northwest Passage to the sea

4. Simon & Garfunkel - Mrs. Robinson Although I like the song and the movie that went with it (the Graduate) I blame them for inventing the phrase coo coo ca choo. Nobody needed that.

Here's to you mrs. robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you can know

Even though you're an alcoholic and fooling around with Dustin Hoffman. Jesus is good that way. No, no its good.

5. Sherly Crow - Steve McQueen

Steve McQueen used to drag race his custom Jaguar in the Hollywood Hills. Supposedly the local Police had a huge reward fund for the first cop that could cite him. No one ever did. That could be an urban legend but its a nice story.

Like Steve McQueen
All I need's a fast machine
And I'm gonna make it all right
Like Steve McQueen
Underneath your radar screen
You'll never catch me tonite

We got rock stars in the White House
And all our pop stars look like porn
All my heroes hit the highway
'Cause they don't hang out here no more

6. Sarah Harmer - Open Window

This is just one of those catchy love songs. Apparently a lot of people are having it sung at their weddings. Poor bastards. I want them to sing Mrs. Robinson at my wedding ceremony. I want to the singer to say, This one's for the mother of the bride...

Our love is a sacred thing
like the mysteries of the night
in the darkness unwavering
and still so strong come the light
Our love is an infinite thing
like the sun's last ray on the sea
as it sets low in the west
and the moon rises

That's really well written and sweet. Poor bastards. No really, nice song.

7. Beatles - Nowhere Man

I miss John Lennon. Was Nowhere man someone they were thinking of, or just an everymannowhereman?

8. Ani Difranco - Sick of Me

A different kind of love song. Maybe better for the 5th anniversary rather than the wedding.

how sick of me must you be by now? while you're standing just outside of
what your pride will allow, always reaching into yourself to find a new way to
understand me. when i'm sure that there's no one else in the world that could
withstand me. yeah, the first person in your life to ever really matter is
saying the last thing that you want to hear. and you are listening hard through
the splintering shards of your life as it shatters. and you're standing firm

9. Natalie Merchant - Break Your Heart

The way things are and the way they've been
Don't spread discontent, don't spread the lies
Don't make the same mistakes with your own life
And don't disrespect yourself, don't lose your pride
And don't think everybody is gonna chose your side


10. Mary Lou Lord - Lights Are Changing

The best thing to come out of Boston since Bobby Orr.

Looking through your hollow eyes across the great unknown
Growing greater every second growing harder with each stone
Yeah and you who judge your freedom by the quantity you score
Does it make you any freer if you took a little more
All that summertime I revolved around your eye
In accelerating spirals in an asymmetric sky
Please recommend this post

We Got Noticed

A disorganized and sometimes odd Royal Visit to Edmonton Alberta got noticed by the Daily Mail in the UK:

But the royal sparkle was not enough for Canada's award-winning photographer Robert Bray when he took the Queen's portrait. Behind the lens, the VIP snapper shouted to Her Majesty: "Big smile - show some teeth." And then: "Over here - into the camera."
For his unconventional efforts, he was rewarded with a slight glimpse of pearly white. Next up, the Duke of Edinburgh was less co-operative and seemed perplexed by the photographer's manner. The Duke stared straight down the lens, seemingly not amused.

Oh the Duke has pretty teeth dear
And he shows them pearly white...

Then the Duke dived across a table and bit off the photographers ear, screaming is that show some teeth enough for you? Nothing like spectacle with Kurt Weill as the soundtrack.

And the Queen even appeared not to notice Alberta's Premier Ralph Klein with his hands in his pockets while showing her around an Edmonton museum, earlier in the day.

No, Ralph was not showing her around the Museum. Other people were. I doubt Ralph has ever been to a museum. What Ralph was doing was walking in front of the Queen and having his wife yank the back of his suit jacket. Yes he did have his hands in his pockets most of the time. No doubt playing with his balls. And no matter which way he tries to grab his balls they always squish off to the right. Jackass. I digress.

During a walkabout in Edmonton city centre, she encountered a corgi club and a cow.

Journalistic sarcasm at its finest. No one could write a line like that without rolling their eyes and going Holy Christ! A cow. I saw the video. Queen pretended not to notice the cow and walked by to the Corgis. Its really a brief moment in Monarchial history. Kings and Queens have been ignoring the town's prize cow for thousands of years. Its a perogative.

Concluding on this bit of too much information:

She chatted to the dog owners, members of the Pembroke Welsh Corgi Association of Canada, but seemed to avoid the cow in the crowd.

The cow's owners, Tracey and David Morey, from Rochester, north of Edmonton, also brought along a large roll of kitchen towel.

"It's to wipe her (the cow's) butt in case she poops," said Tracey.

Thanks Tracey. Nice they added "the cow's" to clarify the possessive connection to the butt. I wonder how many people really needed that, or more importantly why. The brackets are a nice touch as a visual giggle along the lines of what? did you think we meant the Queen's butt. The palace media courtesans will be in touch with you cheeky monkey. But not before Lord Whatshisface the publisher decides you would make a good correspondent in the Gaza Strip.

Here's the deal Your Majesty: Hopefully you will plan on coming for another visit. We promise by then to have an acceptable leader who does'nt grab his balls and walk in front of you. If we can't live up to that then feel free to send Dame Edna in your place. Please recommend this post

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Dennis Miller Canceled

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - CNBC is canceling "Dennis Miller" in an attempt to revive the network's struggling primetime, according to Variety.

"Dennis Miller" will be replaced with a second airing of "Mad Money With Jim Cramer" at 9 p.m. ET.

I think that should be CNBC is FINALLY canceling "Dennis Miller". Not to belabour the point but the replacement is a ninth tier business show in re-runs. How slap in the face is that? Now he can pursue his dream of working along side Jeff Gannon.

Now i don't want to go off on a rant here, but Dennis Miller was about as funny as waking up in Abu Ghraib prison with Cathy Lee Gifford leading you around on a leash while a drunken Donald Rumsfeld reads love poems from the Bhaghavat Gita while Jerry Falwell in a dress tries to organize you and your cellmate Achmed who has'nt had a shower since Clinton was in office into a cross shaped naked pyramid and Rush Limbaugh is bawling in the corner because he can't find his Oxycontin and Toby Keith's greatest hits is playing over the prison loudspeaker over and over and you're starting to feel like Manual Noriega...

Sorry, I got carried away there with run-on-sentence-simile-based-humor.

But wait. If Dennis Miller is'nt funny, and I'm imitating Dennis Miller, then...I cannot be funny either, ipso facto, as they say in Ontario. Thus the blogger walks unwittingly into a swirling noisy vortex [use Stephen Harper hand gestures here] of bad logic collapsing all around him like a Charlie Sheen marriage...

Whoa, it happened again.

What? Did you think I was going to go on about the Belinda is a slut stories. Sorry, I just don't care enough right now. We'll talk tomorrow about that.

Editor's Note: Noriega's first name should have been spelled Manuel not Manual. A Manual Noriega is actually a sex toy, currently the subject of a law suit in Alabama. We apologize for any confusion (or perhaps even discomfort) this typographical error may have caused. Please recommend this post

Monday, May 16, 2005

Various Procedural Thoughts

I made the mistake of reading Parliament's Hansard this past week and watching a few clips. I was especially interested in the non-confidence motion that was or was not a non-confidence motion. Train wrecks can be fascinating. I can see the arguments on both sides as to whether it really meant non-confidence or not. The question might be whether a motion is an expression of non-confidence just because it uses the phrase non-confidence and the man who raises it is extremely angry. When people get dragged out to vote on their summer vacation there will probably be a million more things for them to contemplate other than a procedural fiasco that kept Parliament alive for 9 more days. At some point I invented the term overpunditizationalism® because of the sheer amount of pure bullshit this event caused the MSM to generate.

Harper's tone and body language ended up being more interesting than the technicalities. He simply could not believe that the Government had the audacity to defy his glorious rage. Rage can be a good thing. One of the greatest politics documents ever written is the American Declaration of Independence. The authors were some pissed and signed it with their blood. Canadians don't have a history of political rage or revolution. Our founding documents are somewhat dispassionate to say the least. In Harper's case I don't really understand the purpose of the rage and over the top dramatics. He's beginning to look a lot like his mentor Brian Mulroney, which is to say a sociopath. There are now cameras in the House. The good news is Members do not show up staggering drunk or start fistfights. The bad news is they've all become graduates of the Mel Gibson School of acting.

Harper looked like he was about to levitate, spin his head 360, and start channeling Elmer Gantry. I thought for sure Alien baby was going to pop out of his chest or maybe even an Alsatian with part of its nose missing. (Obscure historical joke.) Although there is a precedent for a Prime Minister to tell another Honorable Member to fuck off Martin did not use it. He is a bit lacking in that respect. Martin is tragically placid, always looking like he's on the receiving end of something. At some point [allegedly] Harper complained to the Governor General that he really wanted and deserved to be obeyed. GG [allegedly] was not impressed because a) the request is out of scope at this time, and; b) Harper and his crowd have made far too many personal attacks on her and her husband. I doubt she would hit the brakes if Harper ran out from behind a parked car.

The Conservative front bench in Parliament looked like a bunch of crack addicts that have not had a fix in a while. The Liberals looked bored and over-confident. This happens when you have been in power for a long time and people refer to you as the Natural Governing Party. I thought a minority position would fix this. The Bloc looks a lot like the Liberals, disinterested but for different reasons. Duceppe wants to go to the polls while the anti-Liberal sentiment in Quebec is at its highest. They consider their personal best to be 50+ of the popular vote in Quebec. I find Duceppe and Harper an odd alliance. The attraction could be that both are regionalists and see little value in Federalism. (Or, if you prefer, Fedoralalalaism.) One wants a firewall, the other a country. Some days I'm not sure which is which. It is interesting that the Western Conservative Base (which is the Majority of the CPC) spent the last 15 or so years giving constant verbal abuse towards francophone Quebecois but now finds them politically convenient. It's the weirdest thing to watch.

I don't know who's giving Martin his strategic advice these days but it does not seem all that coherent. Does he think he is Mackenzie King: Non-confidence if necessary, but not necessarily non-confidence. Martin could have resigned on the procedural motion thus setting a precedent that Stephen Harper and his Media Whores would have a hard time arguing against, when inevitably it would be used on them. Harper would have had to assume the blame for a summer election and the budget being tossed. Maybe, Harper then still wins a minority government. The Liberals create a procedural motion about how the carpets in the foyer need cleaning, and voila, non-confidence. You could call it the Harper Precedent.

Years from now students will be forced to learn about the Harper Affair of 2005. A few of them will be interested but mostly they'll have spittle dribbling out of their mouths while they try to keep their eyes open. Revisionism will abound. Someone will recall how just before the vote, in the skies above Parliament, Cheryl Gallant flew around on a broom and spelled out the words Surrender Parliament to Jesus in big black letters. Other historians will claim there was a great people's democratic movement that took to the streets against the mafia controlled Liberal dictators and the stupid people of Ontario.

Thursday's vote on the budget will not come quickly enough for me. There's nothing like looking forward to an event that can have no good outcome. Please recommend this post

Sunday, May 15, 2005

50 Years of Gumby

Gumby is celebrating his 50th birthday this week.

The Claymation superstar is still going strong as he celebrates a career full of highs and lows. For a long time Gumby was a part of the highly successful team of Gumby & Pokey. In spite of the success the duo parted ways in 1985 largely because of creative differences, substance abuse, and dwindling ratings.

Gumby was able to make a successful transition as a single artist but Pokey could not make the transition from a child-donkey-claymation actor to an adult-donkey-claymation actor. Pokey spent the next few years in an out of rehab picking up the occasional guest appearance on Magnum P.I. (the Croatian claymation version) but soon the work dried up. Gumby & Pokey re-united briefly in 1994 for an anti-smoking campaign aimed at Children. Their highly effective 30 second spots were quietly dropped from Network TV when Focus On The Family accused them of promoting liberal tolerance and launched a boycott.

These days Gumby laughs about the old days, but really wants to talk about Politics. Last Tuesday morning Gumby announced that he would be the Conservative Party of Canada candidate in the riding of Trinity-Spadina. Putting old differences aside Pokey accepted the offer to join the Gumby campaign as Communication Director. Things got off to a rocky start when Pokey kicked a gay rights activist in the middle of a press conference. Gumby, in an exclusive interview with Rex Murphy brushed off the incident as described out of context.

For more information on the Gumby campaign please see Please recommend this post

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Lame Caption Contest, etc.

I have not had time to update my blog much lately due to work pressures and generally poor time management. Lots of good ideas, no time. So you can discuss this photo among yourselves.

This is one of those staged photo ops that just demands a sarcastic caption contest. Don't you get the feeling these two think they are engaged in a high stakes game of Risk? Unfortunately we are the board.

My entry in the caption contest: Putin(through a translator): "No, I'm pretty sure this is the Korean Peninsula, North Dakota would be about 5 feet over your right shoulder. What are you stupid? Don't translate that last part."

You can read some more analysis of the photo at Bagnews. Please recommend this post

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Electoral Reform & NOTA

It goes without saying that most of us are disappointed with our Parliament and want to see some real change. The current set of Parliamentarians (aka Bigots and Whores Inc.) will be dealt with, more or less, in the next election. But the broader system needs a real overhaul and thats why I'm here to offer you the None Of The Above Party. The Platform is still evolving but I'll try to explain it as simply as I can. We had our third plenary meeting tonight on the corner of Varsity Dr. and 38st. It was modestly attended.

The one and only purpose of the party is to allow voters a legal place to indicate a none of the above vote. Currently Elections Canada does not allow this. With a none of the above candidate running in every riding Elections Canada would be forced to compile these votes and thus put a number to a common sentiment.

The Party does not really require a leader. We do require a spokesperson so Canadians really understand why we're running. We are in negotiations with Jolene Blalock right at the moment and it looks promising.

If elected a NOTA candidate must resign immediately and force a by-election. We reject any type of political success. Of course a NOTA candidate would run in the subsequent by-election as well. Critics of our platform note that this could force repetitive and costly by-elections, in some cases causing stalemates. This is possible but its not our fault. The other parties can break the deadlocks by finding better candidates that people can actually vote for.

Since it is impossible for NOTA to ever form Government, our membership was deeply divided over whether we should have additional policies that we advocate. It was decided that we should develop a few ideas about electoral reform and implore the winning party to adopt them.

As a safeguard, our party constitution also has a self-destruct clause. If NOTA members win enough seats to form Government then refuse to resign because they get the crazy idea that they can "fix things", then the party must instantly expel them and dissolve itself.

By a narrow margin NOTA approved the policy of Negative Voting and Personalized Vote Cancelling. Negative voting means that the voter can take a look at the ballot and say my hatred for that guy far exceeds any positive feelings for other candidates. Thus, you can apply a -1 vote to the guy you hate. By way of example, the Conservative candidate gets 30,000 votes but 25,000 voters apply negative votes against him, thus his real and final vote total is 5000 votes. We think this will make candidates behave differently.

Personalized vote cancelling involves matching up opposite voters in a personal way. If one guy votes Conservative and another guy Liberal the person who votes last is deemed to have cancelled out the other guys vote. Elections Canada would assign opposing voters to each other. Then they would send letters to each person explaining that they were now partnered in the Electoral System. The voters would get each others phone number and address and Elections Canada would encourage them to dialogue. We feel this has potential for real nation building.

We wanted to look at some other policies but it got dark. Please recommend this post

Friday, May 06, 2005

Dear Tony

Take a look at this British Election cartoon. Its excellent. Please recommend this post

Sun Panics over Poll

It was the strangest headline I've seen in a long time. Move over murder and mayhem, the Calgary Sun today leads with an SES poll showing the Liberals 6 points ahead of the Conservatives. In their breathless and self-important grade 3 comprehension style:

What will it take for Canadian voters to get so mad at the Liberals that they'll boot them out of office?

Apparently, not a daily dose of corruption and scandal.

The Martin Grits have put the brakes on the damage caused by sensational allegations of influence peddling and kickbacks to people in high places and are actually moving up in public opinion, a SES Research poll released on CPAC suggests.

The nationwide survey of 1,000 voters, completed Tuesday, shows the Liberals have stretched their lead to six points over the Conservatives, compared to a recent Decima poll, which had the Grits leading by three percentage points.

If you're a Liberal you would be foolish to crack open some Champagne just yet. If you're a Conservative this poll should in no way discourage you.

The Calgary Sun knows very well that the polling right now is extremely flaky and could have wide variances. There is no election call and no election date and because of this polling is very difficult and highly volatile.

So whats the real story here? They are just trying to mobilize their already angry base, and indirectly fan the flames of Western Right Wing Alienation. The first two sentences are all you really need. Its a continuation of the theme that non-Conservative voters are evil and wicked for helping to put the Liberals over the top since 1993.

Keep insulting the people you need to come over to your side with simple minded guilt by association diatribes. Excellent strategy. Please recommend this post

Friday 12 Music...Thingys

Sorry, I could'nt quite get that title right, my brain hurts. After a long week of fighting with MS-Access limitations, the subleties of SQL, and the ever present weirdness of Crystal Reports. Not to mention the 1200 pound Gorilla of changing requirements.

Having some lineage in the Scottish Presbyterian tradition it occurs to me that maybe one should not really enjoy working. Maybe its purpose is punishment for our original sin. (Which is different from sin that is original.) If only we could still be lounging around in the Garden. If I understand the Bible correctly, prior to the fall and expulsion from Paradise Adam did not really have or need a career. Commune with the Creator, eat the legal fruit, keep the wife away from Snake, call it a day. Maybe after dinner help Snake plant a few more of those fake Dinosaur bones he's always going on about. Sweet life.

My Granny would probably look askance at all the new age touchy feely stuff about finding a career you like. Her family landed on an Eastern Alberta farm around 1910 direct from Edinburgh. That must of been some kind of culture shock. Then they dealt with two wars and a depression. And yet all the pictures I've seen of them they always have big proud smiles.

Sorry, this was supposed to be about the music. blah blah blah silly me.

1. jimi hendrix - hey jo

Not an endorsement to go kill your wife, just a pretext for some wicked guitar playing.

2. bruce cockburn - deep lake
More wicked guitar playing from Canada's leading singer songwriter

3. michael palin/monty python - finland
I've been wanting to go to Finland for quite some time. This is a sign.

Finland, Finland, Finland,It's the country for me.
You're so near to Russia,So far from Japan.
Quite a long way from Cairo,Lots of miles from Vietnam.
Finland, Finland, Finland.

4. billy bragg - i don't need this pressure ron
bragg at his best

We sing of freedom
And we speak of liberation
But such chances come
But once a generation
So i'll ignore what i am sure
Were the best of your intentions
You are judged by your actions
And not by your pretensions

There is drudgery in social change
And glory for the few
And if you don't tell me what not to say
I won't tell you what not to do

5. simon & garfunkel - homeward bound
With Arties sweet harmony vocals.

But all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity
Like emptiness in harmony I need someone to comfort me.

6. michelle shocked - blackberry blossom
What a beautiful voice & great guitar playing. Too bad she had so many problems with labels.

7. walk away renee - four tops

I don't have any regrets about lost love. You know who you are. I don't think about you nearly as much as you probably think I think about you. Assuming you think about me thinking about you. I don't really care.

8. holly mcnarland - just in me

Dirty dirty girl potty mouth.

9. mae moore - what is is

I can't say enough about Moore's songwriting.

I'll keep my peace of mind
Make love the bottom line
I've got everything I want
Ever since I found out
What it is that makes my world go 'round

Whatever it takes to keep a smile
You forget what it is after a little while
You take for granted this life we know
A few posessions all we have to show in the end

10. laura love - poor wayfaring stranger

This is a classic traditional found in many old hymnals and folk collections recorded by many. Laura Love gives it just the right touch but with a little funked up vocals.

11. skydiggers - just another day

Another love gone wrong song. This song does'nt make me think about you. You know who you are. See #7.

12. octopus's garden - beatles/ringo starr

I'll bet Lennon & McCartney would have killed each other if it were not for Ringo. Technically this form of the possessive is correct, according to Strunk & White. However when you have a noun ending in s a more natural possessive might be the garden of the octopus. Sure its not lyrical, we're just being pedantic. The sensible French translation is Le jardin d’un poulpe, but who wants to sing Beatles songs in French? You might also get away with the Octopus' Garden, but that looks funny, and 9/10 of grammar is look and feel. Ringo supposedly composed it while on vacation in Sardinia. Other accounts say he wrote it while filming the Magic Christian with Peter Sellers, which by the way was one damn funny movie. George wrote the Guitar licks. Please recommend this post

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Of Course I like your hair honey...

I have outrage fatigue this morning. Its time to take a trip down memory lane and look at a few hair styles from the 80's. I have to keep up with Socialist Swine and his various pictures of mullets and moustaches.

Punker chick was kind of hot in the 80's. It was a cross between David Bowie and Annie Lennox. Eventually it became over-produced (see above) and made its way into the office world, thus losing any edginess it once had.

Technically this is the 70's hippy chick, but without the Rachel Carson regard for the environment. The amount of chemicals required to keep this circus flying was impressive. Also highly flammable. (Or, Inflammable to be more correct.) I found this out once on a date where Flaming Sambuca was among the bad choices made that night. How do they get the models to do that puppy dog look?

This is the Dr. Laura moral majority look. Extremely high maintenance and needy. Best to be avoided. Always add 45 minutes to any time she gives you. Look into those eyes, what do you see?

The late River Phoenix may have invented the original celebrity mullet. Note the carefuly grooming. If only the white trash could pay attention to detail like this. I wish River had lived. He might have prevented younger brother Joaquin from making so many bad movies.

See, straight guys can be bitchy about hair & fashion. We just have to work at it a bit. Please recommend this post

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

CPC Election Graphic #1

Please recommend this post

Liberal Campaign Graphic#1

Voters rarely get a good choice. We often have to choose the best of the worst. This poster will just show the voters that the Liberals know they are whores, but that voting for the CPC will be like voting for George Bush. I'm not sure how anyone could have voted for George Bush in 2000 without knowing that he would start a war. I knew he would and I'm not even American. So in summary, whores are better than wars.

This just might catch on. Please recommend this post