Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Hockey Hearthrob Besmirched

The Moscow Times checks in with:

Hockey heartthrob Pavel Bure is suing Arbat Prestizh for 300 million rubles ($10.66 million) after the cosmetics chain's free promotional paper ran an article in which Bure brags about taking the virginity of tennis princess Anna Kournikova.

If the Russian-born National Hockey League star wins the suit, it would be one of the biggest awards for libel in the country's history.

"I believe that the magazine Arbat Prestizh Telegid disseminated information inconsistent with reality [and] besmirching my honor and dignity," Bure said in a filing to Moscow's Tagansky district court last week.


Took her Virginity? Where to? Having seen her play tennis a few times I've noticed she often gets her lunch money taken. Of course Kournikova will have to counter-sue Bure. How many women want to hear their ex base a law suit on the idea that their intimate moments caused him to be besmirched and de-dignified. Then Federov will counter-counter sue because after all, if Pavel has been besmirched then it seems to follow that Sergei was as well. A number of times probably, if you believe the Hockey News. Then Enrique Junior will have to sue somebody because you don't talk about a guy's girl like that. They'll all end up in court with Russia's version of Judge Lance Ito who won't understand a thing about anything and will spend years ruling on the sealed manilla envelopes people keep sending him. Finally, Jane Austin will be dug up and called as an expert witness on courting protocols. Sooner or later Chretien will show up with his golf balls and that will cause a mis-trial.

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Dear Sirs,

After reading this story I was so distraught I immediatedly dropped from #2 to #7 in the Women's Tennis Association rankings.

Regards,
Amelie Mauresmo

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Dear Sirs,

The players need to understand that the owners are totally united on this issue of protecting young russian woman tennis players, and thats why we need cost certainty through a salary cap.

Regards,
Gary Bettman

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Dear sirs,

Hey, if you guys need some extra money or something for legal fees or whatever.

i'm just saying...

Regards,

Jose Theodore's mother

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Dear Sirs,

Yeah, and I'm sitting here with three screaming babies married to that chick from full house. That's the way its always been, Pavel always gets besmirched never me.

Regards,

Valerie Bure

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